A Country's Inner Struggle

The countries meet again like every other day. They sit in their same seats and they assume their same positions. Although it may seem like they all live boring lives, there is much more than meets the eye. 

Like Alfred Jones, otherwise known as America, has his personal struggles. Ever since he's become his own country he feels like the whole world is out to get him. Almost everybody he knows hates him or resents him. He tries to look on the bright side of things though. He's the hero and he sees this as a mission to test his strength, though with each passing day, he feels like he's losing the battle...

Moving on to the other blond next to him, the one with the green eyes that hold so much anger in them whenever someone looks his way. What they don't know is that he only conveys anger so that no one sees the immense sadness that lies within him. His whole life was spent with him being shunned from his brothers and everyone he knew, all he ever wanted was to be loved and accepted by someone. He found that newfound love when he took in America when the nation was younger. The one time in his life that he thought he was happy; the child grew up and eventually fought him for his independence. He had every reason to stop him but he couldn't, he loved him too much. That's where the anger comes from, it comes from the hate he has for himself for being so weak towards America. Now England, also known as Arthur Kirkland, tries his hardest to never love someone again. He can't bear to feel that pain again...

Now we're on the French man. Francis Bonnefoy or France, if you want to be professional. He is a smooth-talking, charming, flirtatious man and will steal your heart in a minute with just a simple look. However, when he's alone and is sure that no one is around, he lets his true nature show. That true nature is a lonely, insecure man. He looks at himself in the mirror and wonders about what everyone finds so attractive about him, he sees nothing that strikes him as appealing. He wakes up to find only his side of the bed kept warm by his body and his body alone. All he longs for is for someone to think about him as other than a perverted rapist. He's the country of love and does all he can to spread it, he longs for at least one person to return it to him...

Distracted from the others was China, or Yao Wang. Every time he's at a meeting or at his home, he closes his eyes and thinks back. He thinks back to the days when he used to play with the other Asian country, Japan, or Honda Kiku. He remembers the days when Honda wanted to do nothing more than lie on the cool ground and watch the clouds, if he was moved enough, he would draw the shape he sees. China has never thrown out the paintings, whenever he looks at them it takes him back. Back to the days when nothing was as hard as it is now. When he could sit back and enjoy life. 

Now the person next to him wants nothing more than a companion. Russia, Ivan Braginksi is that person. He's spent so many years alone, no one ever wanted to be around him. Who wants to be friends with a guy who smiles all the time and is around nothing but bloodshed and war? All Ivan wants is just one person, one someone he can call his sunflower, romantic or not. He can't kill everyone on his own. He can be a nice person when he wants to be, da?

Matthew Williams, Canada. If you were to walk up to any of the others there and ask who he was, you would get a confused glare or a shrug. No one knows who he is because he's practically invisible. He sits at the end of the table every meeting and watches the other with that fake smile slapped on his face. He hugs his Polar Bear closer to his chest; the bear cub that doesn't even know his name. He goes home every night and he prays, he prays that they will notice him, not only on occasion but all the time. He prays that one day someone will ask for his name and they recognize that name and tell them where he is. All he wants is to be noticed, not as Alfred Jones, but as Matthew Williams. The Canadian's hope is beginning to wane as he slowly comes to the realization that his wish will never come true...

Here's the German, Ludwig Beilschimdt, the younger brother of the once mighty Prussia. He looked up to his brother; he learned everything he knows from his brother. When the Berlin wall went up, it severed his connection with Gilbert. This caused Ludwig to...shut down, in the sense that he didn't want to feel that pain, the pain of someone he cares for being taken away forever. He decided to show as little emotion as possible; he also decided to become a strong country, he wanted to be strong so that his brother would be proud. Until that little bubbly Italian came along, Ludwig tries to keep the emotions he feels for the Italian locked away but it just comes back stronger. He doesn't want to lose him the same way he lost his brother, that little Italian is his last attempt at trying to make friends. He knows that Feliciano looks up to him, and it makes it that much harder to push him away. 

Speaking of the Italian, he sat next to the strong, stoic German with a wide grin plastered on his face. That was Feliciano, always the optimistic one out of the Axis. He never saw the bad side of anybody, always saw the good. Don't let his smile fool you; he has it on so that nobody finds out that he's breaking apart on the inside. The sadness started when he was a child and he met Holy Roman Empire. He and that little boy spent every day together, once HRE opened up to him. Then he left Italy, he went off to war, leaving little Feliciano by himself. Feliciano felt his heart shatter in every single way possible; he loved that boy with all of his heart. He thought that he would never be the same again until he met Germany. He felt himself feeling like how he did when he first met HRE; he wanted to be with him always. Germany is also very strong and Italy wants to know how to be strong like him, so he can protect people on his own and make him proud. There's always that underlying feeling deep within the cheery man, it’s the recurring thought that Germany would leave him just like HRE. Italy hates being alone, and doesn't want to lose Germany, and in his heart, the only way to keep him is to do what he says and to make him happy. If Germany were to leave, that would surely break the Italian's heart. His heart might never be mended again...

Honda Kiku, country where the sun rises,has a hard time opening up to people. After spending so long in solitude, it would be hard trying to cope around other people. He refrains from speaking at the meetings every time and prefers to watch everyone else talk. He just wishes that one day he'll be able to open up to people and that they will accept him for who he is...

Onward to the Italian's brother, Romano, or known as South Italy. Never has someone been as hurt as this man has been. He's never loved, he's never known what it's been like to love, and he’s scared to love honestly. It's because of his brother, Italy he's this way. Ever since they were children Romano has been overshadowed by his brother. It's actually so bad that no one even looks Romano's way. If they do talk to him, it is to either tell him how rude he is, or how great Italy is. What they don't know is that he's rude not because he wants to be, but because he's tired of trying. He's tired of trying to compete for everyone's love; he's tired of trying to make himself known. He's just tired of always being second best. His sadness has been turned into hate, hate to the world, hate for being so alone and so unwanted. He hates the fact that even with all the tears he cries, he's still not being loved. Most importantly, he hates himself for not being his brother....

Spain, the Southern Italy's previous master. The one, who's usually so chilled and relaxed, has a lot of built up guilt inside of him. He feels guilt for the way he treated Romano when the country was younger. He, like many other people, wanted his brother instead of him. He remembered how upset he was for being stuck with Romano because Austria got Italy; he was so clouded in his own judgment that he didn't see just how badly he broke the little one's heart. He didn't see all the times the little Italian tried to get his charge's good graces, all the times he tried to get him to smile, he didn't see how happy he made Romano just because the little Italian was actually wanted by someone. Instead of making Romano just as happy as the child was trying to do for him, he made the little nation feel awful about himself, he made him feel awful for not being the one Spain truly longed for. He did remember all the times he ignored the child's muffled cries in his room, all the times he wanted a hug or some sort of affection from the older nation and he was turned down, and he even remembered the time where Romano said that he would dye his hair the color of his brother's if that would make the Spaniard love him. Nothing worked. The more Antonio thinks about it, the more he feels the guilt latch itself to his conscience. He longs for the day when he can walk up to the Italian and tell him that he's sorry. He longs for the day when he his forgiven...

The meeting is over and all of the countries pack their things to return home, going to each other and saying their farewells, not knowing about the issues either of them has. They leave the building, only to come back the next day, or a few days from now to do the same thing over again...